You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
