this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
