do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
