I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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