i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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