I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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