those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
