Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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