we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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