Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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