so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
