Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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