i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
