I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
tonight lets celebrate not being married
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
