Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
