why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
