Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
