i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
