How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
