I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
