hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
