I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
