after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
