i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
