It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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