Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
