I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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