What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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