Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
