Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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