Im at strip club and am horny
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
