Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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