If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
