Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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