i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
