He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
