How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hippo gnu deer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
