Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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