Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's rum buckets o'clock
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
