I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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