I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
