Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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