worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We need to rekindle our bromance
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
