Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize