Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
