what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
