no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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