Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
