I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
