chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hippo gnu deer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
